


No Way Out

by cynatnite



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Clint mourns Phil, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 12:14:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1428091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynatnite/pseuds/cynatnite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint is pushed into a corner after the Battle of New York City. This answers the question where Clint Barton was during the events of Captain America: Winter Soldier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Way Out

If anyone had told Clint that having a god in your head hurt so fucking bad, he would’ve declined the offer. He had spent three days with a migraine worthy of having a jumbo jet landing in the middle of his brain and not one person would consent to giving him even an aspirin.

Clint had gotten locked up as soon as he and the Avengers finished their shawarma. He had done his level best to assure them that this was in line with SHIELD policy when one of their own had been compromised. It didn’t do much good, though.

Stark was telling Jarvis to line up all 236 lawyers on their payroll, Thor was firing up the hammer, Rogers was trying to play Logic 101 with Fury, and Banner was intervening as best he could by using medical reasoning. The only one who seemed to understand the situation was Natasha. He gave her a nod and she explained to Rogers that it had to be done. The sooner Clint got put through the system, the sooner he’d get sprung.

Clint was almost positive that Natasha didn’t believe it either. He sure as hell didn’t. It’s one thing to get compromised. It’s quite another to lead a strike team of mercenaries onto a helicarrier, free a malevolent demigod from his prison, assist in committing as much mayhem and murder as possible, give Earth’s greatest enemy the means to invade and conquer the planet, but when you give up every SHIELD secret within your possession they’re not going to let you go easy. Anyone who thought that because he was Loki’s right hand brainwashed man entitled him to a free pass was just plain delusional.

So, now here he was, locked up in SHIELD’s Fridge. It was more than an underground secret prison. There were no windows. None. The temperature was always just a little on the cold side. It was enough to want a blanket at night, but not getting one. The only warm thing you got was one meal in the evenings. Breakfast and lunch were the foods sitting in your fridge when you were too lazy to cook. A donut. Not even fucking coffee. If that wasn’t torture, Clint didn’t know what was.

He had to admit that they hadn’t come down on him as hard as he thought they would. Clint had gotten a fair load of medical testing to make sure that Loki was out of his head. He had no complaints about that because even he had his doubts. He got damn near a pleasant debriefing by Sitwell which had been surprising. Clint halfway liked the guy and the questions hadn’t been all that difficult. He made a point of spilling every detail. The last thing Clint needed was to keep anything about his time with Loki to himself.

Seeing Sitwell, Clint had immediately asked for Coulson. His former handler outranked Sitwell and he would’ve been able to get in to see him. Clint got no answer. Sitwell went directly to the questioning. Coulson was likely fucking dead and it was his fault. So, he answered Sitwell’s questions never letting even a facial twitch give away just how much that piece of information was ripping his gut in half.

It was the following day when Clint finally got a visit only it wasn’t Fury, Natasha or anyone else that he would consider even close to an ally. The last person he ever expected to walk through the door of his cell was standing in front of him with his hands in his pockets looking as relaxed as Coulson used to look when he was briefing him about his next mission.

“Secretary Pierce.” Clint got up from his cot.

“Have a seat, Agent Barton.” Pierce grabbed a chair and pulled it to the middle of the room. “I had the video and audio feed cut.”

“Sir?”

After Pierce sat, he leaned forward. “You’re in a bad spot, son. The WSC wants you prosecuted and shot.”

“Thank you for passing that on, sir. I’ll sleep better tonight knowing my days are numbered.” Clint finally took a seat.

“I heard you were a sarcastic son-of-a-bitch. It’s not helping your case.”

“My case?” Clint raised his eyebrows. “Sir, I knew that if I came out of this with anything less than a life sentence in the Fridge, I should count my lucky stars. I don’t have a reason to bite my tongue.”

“You may want to rethink that, son.”

“I’m not your fucking son, sir. Why don’t you tell me the reason the head of the WSC came down here? It sure wasn’t to tell me I’m a dead man.”

“What would you say to a quid pro quo type of arrangement?”

“I’m listening.”

“I can get you out of here in a couple of days and keep the WSC and anyone else who wants a piece of you off your ass.”

“In exchange for what, sir.”

“I want you to do some work for me.”

“What could SHIELD possibly trust me with now after everything that’s happened?”

“Not SHIELD. Me. You report directly to me and no one else. Not even Director Fury.”

That was the first time Pierce had Clint’s attention. He slowly got to his feet. “You’ve got your own agenda.”

“It’s not my agenda, Agent Barton. If you’re unwilling I’m more than happy to walk out of here and let the WSC decide your fate.”

“That’s not quid pro quo, sir. That’s extortion.”

“Call it whatever you like.”

“Who do I have to kill?”

“No one. You need to make sure not a soul knows what you’re doing. If you take any of this to Fury or anyone else outside of this room you’ll be renditioned back here to the Fridge, tried and executed for your crimes.”

Pierce made it so simple. He sounded so cavalier as if he was teaching a high school history class. Clint wondered what Stark would do with what he was being told.

“I can see the wheels turning in your head, agent. You need to remember I have access to every record and piece of SHIELD technology. I can track your movements and if you so much as say a word to Fury, Romanov or the Avengers your life is over including theirs as well. If you have any doubts about my resolve, you are more than welcome to test me.”

“I actually believe you.” Clint had no doubt the bastard would do it. “Your reputation is pretty fucking ruthless.”

“I can promise you this. When you’re done, you’re a free man as long as you keep quiet about your assignments. Are we clear?”

“As long as I do exactly what you say I won’t be killed and neither will the people I care about.” There was no such thing as freedom with this kind of bargain. Clint’s only chance was to find a way out from under Pierce’s thumb. “Just one question.”

“What is it?”

“Is Coulson dead?”

“Yes. Loki stabbed him through the heart and ripped it to pieces. I’m told it hurt like hell.” Pierce seemed satisfied with Clint’s reaction.

After he left, Clint nearly fell to his knees and managed to get to the cot. He lowered his head on the thin mattress and struggled to keep the scream threating to break loose inside.

“God, I’m sorry, Phil,” Clint brokenly whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

~*~

When Clint got to his apartment a box was sitting outside his door. There were no markings on it whatsoever. He carried it inside and set it on the table. When he opened it, a laptop sat inside along with a flash drive.

Clint turned on the laptop and a video file starring Alexander Pierce began playing.

“On the laptop you’ve been given is a list of individuals which you will need to gather certain intelligence. You are to investigate each one, gather the required Intel and upload it to an encrypted server using this laptop. The first name at the top of your list is Tony Stark. Use the flash drive to run the program and it will disable enough of Stark’s security system to get the information I require.”

Clint studied the flash drive and debated on running it on his own PC.

“It will take several months to go through this list and I expect you to regularly upload your Intel. Your SHIELD credentials have been reinstated and you can move about freely as you did before. If you need more funds or tech, let me know. If all goes well, you may have a bright future with the organization once this is over.”

The video finished and Clint closed out the program. “Right. You’re going to kill me no matter what I do, you fucking bastard.”

Clint had never felt more cut off in his entire life. He always had Natasha and Coulson to fall back on when everything went to hell. It was Coulson who had found him when his world was crashing around him. He’d been the only one to believe in him and Phil Coulson was the reason he wanted to do better, to be better. Natasha had been him when he found her. That’s why it was so easy to disregard both Fury and Coulson when he brought her to SHIELD. As far as he was concerned, they were his family.

Now, Coulson was dead and Natasha’s life was on the line. He knew she could always take care of herself, but with a man like Alexander Pierce he couldn’t take any chances. The man had more resources at his disposal than Nick Fury. Clint was on his own.

Clint read the instructions regarding the flash drive and he was nearly finished when his cell phone rang.

“Barton.”

“So, they saw fit to spring you,” Natasha said.

Clint smiled a little. It certainly was good to hear her voice. “They figured Loki’s out of my head and the world was safe once again.”

“Surprising, you know. SHIELD’s not known for its forgiving nature.”

“I had a couple of people pulling for me. I heard you and Stark damn near broke SHIELD trying to get me out of there.”

“Fat lot of good it did,” Tasha muttered. “We honestly didn’t think we could get you out. Do you know how it happened?”

_Yeah, a first rate bastard is blackmailing me_ , Clint almost shouted. Instead he said, “Maybe Fury’s bite is actually worse than his bark this time around.”

“Listen, tomorrow Thor is taking Loki back to Asgard. We’re all going to be there for the send-off. Interested?”

“Only if I get to put a fucking arrow in his eye socket,” Clint ground out.

“Clint…”

“Yeah, I know,” Clint sighed. “I’ll be there if you are.”

He knew she was smiling on the other end of the phone.

“I’ll pick you up.”

“See you then.”

Clint hung up the phone and nearly threw it across the room. He had his excuse to go to Stark’s now.

~*~

All Clint could do was smirk at Loki when he saw him next. The special binding across the demigod’s mouth gave him great pleasure and he was on the verge of making a promise that next time they crossed paths, Clint would kill him. Nat had leaned in and whispered, “who’s going to be his bitch now?” Clint just kept grinning with a promise in his eyes before Thor and Loki transported away from Earth.

The plan was a meal out, but the Avengers were now notorious. They were the so-called heroes. Clint just shook his head. There was no such thing as heroes anymore. They were just lucky. He figured his current circumstance would make him that skeptical, but it was harder than hell to see it any other way.

So, Tony and Bruce picked up take out and Clint, Nat and Steve headed to Stark tower. Clint tried the best he could to take part in the camaraderie, but he knew he had to have been failing miserably the way everyone around him was drawing him into the conversation. There was no doubt they wanted him to know they didn’t blame him for his role in Earth’s close call. Clint just went along with it looking for an opportunity and then Tony Stark handed it to him on a silver platter. Clint nearly cursed aloud.

“So, I was thinking that even if the band decided to go solo from time to time, we could still do a reunion tour on occasion should the Earth find itself under attack by rampaging lobsters or whatever the case may be.” Tony stood with his wine glass. “I hereby propose the first edition of the Avenger headquarters here at Stark Towers where each one will have their own residence to use at any time of their choosing.”

“You’re prosing we all move in together under one roof?” Bruce asked.

“Well, just on those occasions when it’s called for or if any of us suddenly find ourselves homeless or bored and want a sleepover.”

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for us to have a headquarters of sorts,” Steve offered. “Tasha?”

“Sure. Pepper and I don’t see each other nearly enough.”

“I better warn the accountants,” Tony stated.

“And the decorators,” Pepper added. “This place could use it.”

“What do you think, Clint?” Natasha asked.

Clint was nearly dizzy. Could a better opportunity ever come along? He swallowed the lump in his throat. He was going to throw up the dinner he had just eaten. “I like bands.”

“We can nearly call it unanimous,” Tony grinned. “The big guy with a hammer will need a place anyway.”

Everyone toasted and then split off to check out their perspective apartments. Pepper handed Clint a keycard and guided him to his.

“Tony won’t admit it, but I think he likes you the most,” she told him.

“Really? He’s a genius billionaire and he’s got you for a girlfriend. I think he got the better end of the deal.”

“He watched you on TV when they were replaying the footage from the battle. You never missed a single shot and he said that kind of talent takes a special genius. I think he was a little jealous.”

Clint shook his head. “I’m just a circus freak, Pep. What I do are tricks and scams. There’s nothing special about what I do.”

“I hope you don’t really believe that, Clint. You are a wonderfully unique person with a gift.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

Pepper smiled and took him to the door. “Here’s your apartment. It’s pretty sparse. I knew you’d have your own style.”

“Thanks.” Pepper left him alone and Clint unlocked the door.

Inside, he was stunned at the space. It was him. He had always wanted a loft style apartment, but they were usually too far out of his budget. This one had an electric fireplace in the living room. There was an open concept gourmet kitchen. He took the stairs and nearly smiled at the large bedroom with a master bath. This was the apartment of his dreams.

Clint walked to the balcony and looked down at the space below. God, he loved this place, but he’d never live here.

“Fuck.”

With a sigh, Clint headed down the stairs into the living room and then to the large screen over the fireplace. He took out the flash drive.

“Jarvis.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I need you to scan these files and copy them onto your private server.”

Clint put the drive into the slot and as Jarvis worked, he went to the balcony overseeing the city.

“Sir, I detected an unknown algorithm.”

“Scan it.”

“Sir, scan results are inconclusive. It has copied itself onto my secured file system. I am unable to delete it.”

“Quarantine it.”

“The algorithm has adapted to quarantine procedures. I must inform…”

The computer stopped and Clint spun around as the door flung open. Tony stormed into the room and when he saw the flash drive, he yanked it out of the slot. Behind him followed the rest of the team and Pepper.

“What the hell is going on, Barton?” Tony yelled. “What do you think you are doing?”

“He was scanning some files. Take it easy, Stark.”

“This is an AI algorithm! We don’t know what it is and you fucking installed it into Jarvis’ systems!”

“He was supposed to quarantine them.”

“And you didn’t think to bring this to me? Where is it from, Barton?”

Clint paused for a moment. He looked at the team, Nat and then to Tony. “SHIELD. What do you think?”

“SHIELD? Is that right?”

“Yeah, I guess they figure fair’s fair.”

“What are you talking about Clint?” Nat asked.

“Ask Stark,” Clint told her. He looked back at Tony. “You hacked into SHIELD. Remember?”

“You went too far, Clint,” Steve told him. “That’s not how a team works.”

“Are we a team? I know you want us to be one just like the super bowl heroes they put on fucking cereal boxes, but really. Is that what we are?”

“You hacked into my systems because I got into SHIELD’s underwear drawer?” Tony nearly laughed. “This little program of yours didn’t work. I have fail safes. It was aborted before the first file copied.”

Clint knew what he was doing when he sarcastically replied, “Try, try, try again.”

“Get the fuck out of my building, Barton. Don’t come back.”

“Fine.”

Clint stormed out and by the time he got out front, Natasha had caught up with him.

“Hey.”

Clint put on his sunglasses. “This is a bullshit operation, Nat. Don’t tell me you want to be a part of that.”

“For the first time we could actually do some good, Clint. It’d be more than just following SHIELD orders.”

“You’ve never had a problem following SHIELD orders.”

“I follow Fury and Coulson’s orders.”

“Well, Coulson’s dead and I never trusted SHIELD.”

“What’s wrong with you? I’ve never seen you like this before, Clint.”

Clint took a deep breath. God, how he wished he could just blurt everything out. He loved Nat and the team he had been desperate to be a part of was now out of reach. “Still trying to get my head straight after everything. Give me some time. Okay?”

“Why do I think you’re full of shit?”

Clint shrugged. “It’s been a rough few weeks, Tasha. Let me deal with it.”

“Fine. You know how to find me.” Natasha leaned in, kissed him on the cheek. “Please don’t shut me out.”

“I’ll call if I need anything.”

Clint turned and walked away. The one thing he had never thought he’d ever have to do was lie to Natasha. Just thinking about how he done just that made Clint sick to his stomach. He wound up darting into an alley and throwing up the meal he had just eaten.

Using the back of his hand, Clint wiped off his mouth. He knew Natasha well enough that she was attempting to justify what he had done to Tony. Knowing Tony, he wouldn’t have any of it. You didn’t fuck with his stuff and most importantly Jarvis. That was practically his brother. Clint didn’t know if that was admirable or fucking pathetic.

So, he headed back to his apartment and on the way he stopped for a bottle of tequila. He hated tequila. Some brands had quite a bite, but it was enough to punish him and he could get mind blowing drunk before he started on his next assignment.

When Clint got home, he stripped off his jacket and let it drop to the floor. He grabbed a glass from the cabinet, docked his iPod and blasted Rolling Stones through the apartment. As the music blared, he kept drinking. The last song he remembered playing before he passed out was “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”.

~*~

“Fuck.”

Clint groaned as he slowly moved around. He was still in his clothes from the day before and on the couch. The empty bottle dropped to the floor as he forced himself to sit up. His stomach lurched and Clint only hoped he didn’t do any dry-heaving. He hadn’t had a bite to eat since the evening before and that he had thrown up in an alley.

He picked up his cell phone and checked it. Natasha had sent him three text messages. He had replied, but didn’t remember doing so. Clint checked his phone history and saw that she had called. Since she wasn’t here, he must have had a satisfactory conversation with her. She’d be pissed that he didn’t remember a thing.

Clint got to his feet and nuked a cup of water then added instant coffee to it. He took a sip and shook his head in distaste. He’d get a cup on his way to his first assignment. Clint showered, downed a couple of aspirin and then dressed. He checked over his gear, strapped on his ankle holster, and made sure his weapon was loaded before holstering it. He slid on his jacket and headed out the door.

~*~

Nearly two years later Clint was still doing Pierce’s dirty work. All he did was gather Intel, upload the information to a secured server and then do it all over again with a new list of names. It took him up and down the eastern seaboard and inland as far as Ohio and Tennessee. He had stopped counting some time ago and figured he had sent Pierce information on well over a 1000 individuals.

The information being asked for was nonsensical to Clint. For one it was copying dissertation while earning a PhD. Another individual had designed a formula to expand crop production. One woman was teaching the poor in the Appalachian Mountains. They wanted to know who she was contacting politically. There were no connections to each other that Clint could perceive. He knew that if he took the information to Tony, they’d be able to figure out what Pierce wanted with the information and how it fit together.

Clint still refused to take any chances. Pierce made a habit of keeping close track of his own activities and there was no doubt he was being followed. For the life of him, he couldn’t find anyone on his trail. Not only that, there were no bugs in his apartment that he could find. The hints Pierce dropped were enough to keep Clint in line.

From time to time Natasha would drop by, they’d go out to eat if time allowed or chat if time didn’t. She’d press for information and more than once Natasha would turn on her psychoanalytical radar to mine for information, but Clint had long ago learned how those tactics worked. He could sidestep them easily enough. There was no doubt Natasha had picked up on his heavy drinking. Some things he absolutely couldn’t hide from her no matter what. The only thing that kept her at bay was not only his busy schedule, but hers as well.

He had gotten a text message from Pierce to come by his place in the evening. Clint had ran through the last of the names and they hadn’t given him any new ones as of yet. He suspected Pierce was ready to kill him, but the penthouse seemed like a poor place to do the job so he went.

Clint was allowed in as soon as he arrived. He went through the living room past the kitchen and stopped in the den. The lights were off, but he could still see Pierce’s outline.

“I thought you said it’d be too dangerous for us to meet.”

“You’re done,” Pierce told him as he sipped his drink. “We got everything we need.”

“Who are we? I thought this was your operation.” Clint needed more information and he doubted he’d get it.

“It’s a much larger picture than you know, Mr. Barton.” Pierce moved into the light. “You have one last task and then you’re done.”

“What’s that?”

“I have a guest in the spare bedroom down the hall. He specifically requested you.”

“For what?”

“I’ll leave that to his discretion.”

“You’re fucking kidding me!” Clint was livid. “You’re pimping me out?”

“Call it what you like. His satisfaction is more important than your squeamishness.”

Clint did feel sick to his stomach. Uncaring of what Pierce thought, Clint went to the bar and poured a quick drink. “You’re a real son-of-a-bitch, Pierce.”

“Don’t make a mess.”

He heard Pierce leave and Clint swallowed the liquor down unmindful of the burning path it left in his throat. “Goddamn it,” he breathed. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he’d have to go these lengths.

When Clint finished, he started down the hallway and halfway, he stopped. After taking a deep breath, he took another few steps then opened the door. Once inside, his eyes went to the dark figure sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed.

“Guess you’re the special guest.” The figure said nothing. Clint closed the door him and took a deep breath. “Just give me a minute.”

Clint went to the small bathroom and washed his face. He needed to get it together before giving himself over. Once he was sure he was ready, Clint went back to the bedroom and took off his jacket.

“Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t my first time. I’m no fucking virgin. I just had a different idea about this the next time I…” Clint couldn’t count the times he had wanted his next time to be with Phil Coulson. He felt like a damn bride at times when he imagined it in his head. When he learned Coulson was dead, he had worked hard to disabuse himself of the notion. That night of them together would never happen now.

He lowered his eyes and started unbuttoning the top of his shirt. Clint was a bit startled when the figure stood and walked around the bed to him. He got a better look at him standing so close. The black hair hung over his face, but Clint could still see his eyes. There was a gentle lost look in them and he was taken aback by it.

“What’s your name?” Clint asked.

Rather than answer, he chose to kiss Clint instead. The intensity of it nearly made him step back. It wasn’t a hard kiss, but the tenderness of it had Clint reaching for him. When his hand touched cold metal, he broke the kiss and pulled away.

The man took hold of Clint’s hand and put it on his left arm. That was when Clint got his first look. It was a prosthetic of sorts like nothing he had ever seen. It was apparent that the man wanted him to feel and touch it to abate his fear and Clint was more than fascinated to do just that. He had a million questions as he studied the silver limb. _It’s damn near beautiful_ , he thought.

When Clint’s hand stopped at his shoulder, he saw the scars. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” was the low whisper.

Before Clint could ask any more questions, the man kissed him again. This time he was working Clint’s clothes off. When he was nude, he was pushed to the bed and Clint slid back as his new lover was removing the last of his own clothing.

Clint nearly lost his breath when he was joined on the bed. He was overwhelmed by the passion and warmth being given to him. Clint found himself responding to every touch and every kiss across his skin. He fisted the sheets when his cock was taken into a hot mouth.

“Please,” Clint whispered. He closed his eyes and all he saw was Phil going down on him. It was his hands on him, his mouth on him and his words telling Clint how much he loved him. “Phil,” Clint breathed.

If his partner of the night heard, it didn’t slow him down. Clint pulled him up to his lips fervently kissing him relishing the taste of himself on the stranger’s lips. In his mind he only saw Phil making love to him. If this was all he would ever have of Phil, then that’s how it would be.

Clint rolled him to his back and returned every touch and kiss with his own. He ran his hands over the hard body and took hold of the erection. He pumped on it and at his lips, he said, “Gonna take you to heaven and back.”

After a deep kiss, Clint went down on him and took his cock as deep into his mouth as he could. He heard his breathing and groaning for more and Clint was happy to oblige. The whispered pleas of his lover only drove Clint even more. He heard a name called out, but Clint barely acknowledged it.

He was then put to his stomach and Clint was more than ready to take this meeting of the flesh to the next level. He felt his lover behind him and Clint eagerly readied himself for what was coming. He felt him move in close behind him, their legs touched and then he sighed contentedly when he felt the reassuring hand on his hip.

“Please,” Clint told him. He needed this. “Please.”

He craved Phil inside of him, to fill him until he was complete. There was an empty hole in his heart and only one person could ever ease the ache of it. If Clint closed his eyes he could feel Phil’s comforting hand on his skin, telling him he loved him, and that he’d never leave him.

Once his partner was seated deep inside of him, Clint breathed a sigh of satisfaction. “God, yeah.”

Once it started it began to build and Clint allowed his eyes to close as the hands gripped his hips. He had almost expected a hard pounding, but instead he got a passionate moving of hips back and forth. The cock inside of him was hard and deep. There was no pain, just fulfilling and tender. It was like nothing he had ever encountered in his life.

Clint felt Phil’s hands on him and he heard him say how much he loved him and had missed him. He moved his hips back into him and said, “God, Phil, I love you, too, babe. Please don’t stop!”

It took only minutes for the climax to hit. Clint began to come and then he heard his partner cry out as he expelled his release into him. When he finished, they both collapsed together on the bed. Clint closed his eyes once again and took a moment to catch his breath.

He was going to get up, but his partner had a grip on his waist. “Stay, please.”

Clint remained where he was. He couldn’t explain it, but he sure as hell didn’t want to leave. He felt his partner move in closer behind him and before Clint knew it, he was asleep.

Two more times during the night, his lover had waked him for more. Clint was happy to give it. This was the most love he had gotten in his entire pathetic life. He’d close his eyes and dreamed it was Phil on top of him, rocking his hips in concert with his. It was as if they shared one heartbeat together and nothing would break the connection.

When the sun was just starting to rise, Clint got out of bed and slipped on his boxers. He looked at the man sitting on the bed with his back to him.

“You know, this could’ve gone real bad. I don’t do this kind of thing on a regular basis.” Clint picked up his jeans and stuck a leg inside. “I just hope you don’t take it personally that it was someone else I wanted to be with. He died and…” Clint buttoned his jeans before continuing. “Well, it hasn’t been easy…him being gone.”

The figure still hadn’t moved or said a word. Clint finished dressing and grabbed his jacket off the chair. “I wish you’d tell me your name. Mine’s Clint…Clint Barton. Some folks call me Hawkeye.”

That was when he moved. Clint watched him come forward and they stood eye to eye. “What’s your name?”

“I don’t know.” He pulled Clint close, kissed him and then let him go. “You need to leave now.”

“Is something wrong?”

“I’m supposed to kill you when we’re done. Why do you think I wouldn’t let you leave after the first time?”

It suddenly dawned on what he was saying. Clint looked around and found a pen and paper on the nightstand. “You can call this number 24/7 if you have to contact me.” Clint shoved it in his hand, but it dropped to the floor. “Shit.”

“I’m going to try like hell to get you so make it look good.”

That was when Clint shoved him back as hard as he could. He stumbled back only a few steps and Clint grabbed a nearby flower vase hitting him on the side of the head. It seemed to stun him and Clint tore out of the room. They fought back and forth and despite the man’s superior strength, he managed to escape the penthouse.

His apartment was the last place he could go. They’d likely be waiting for him. He did have an old studio apartment from his early days at SHIELD that he still kept. No one, not even Natasha knew he had it. Once there, Clint sat in the old chair and breathed a sigh of relief. He had no idea how long it would be until they found him. With SHIELD resources, it was likely it wouldn’t take long.

~*~

For three days Clint stayed at the dingy apartment. He kept his phone off and without a TV there was little for him to do. He had bought four magazines in addition to nuked burritos, stale coffee and candy bars from the corner convenience store not far from his small place. He was ready for his forced isolation to end by the end of the third day.

Clint didn’t have a clue if it was safe for him to emerge from the apartment or not. He had to find out what Pierce was up to and where his silver-armed soldier was. He still wasn’t about to turn on his phone for fear it would be traced. He had debated on a disposable, but it was still too risky.

So, his only option was going back to his regular apartment. He had a back way into the place and when Clint got to the alley, he carefully checked both ways before jumping onto the fire escape. He was nearing his floor when he heard a sound he had grown too familiar with.

Clint nearly closed his eyes and turned instead. Iron Man was hovering only a few yards away.

“Legolas.”

Before Clint could say a word, Tony had raised his hand aiming his blaster right at him and then his world went black.

~*~

His head felt like it was splitting in half and Clint hadn’t even opened his eyes yet. He was sure his brain was going to rip open his skull from the amount of pain he was feeling. As he began to move around, Clint realized three things. Number one was that he couldn’t move around, at least not that well. His hands were cuffed behind his back. Number two was that he wasn’t at his place. In fact, he was at Stark Tower which wasn’t that great of a surprise since it was Tony that had blasted him into unconsciousness. Thirdly, there were voices arguing. Not yelling so much as in passionately discussing.

Clint dared to open his eyes and near the large bar were Tony and Bruce having a discussion about him. He couldn’t gage exactly what it was about with the killer herd of elephants running over his brain, but he had heard his name more than once. Any doubts were quickly eliminated by how many times Tony pointed at him and called him asshole.

“Do you two think you can argue with me rather than about me? It’s a little rude.” Clint groaned as he forced himself to a sitting position.

“It’s a good thing you’re awake now,” Tony said. “I like to torture my victims when they’re conscious. It’s more fun that way.”

“He deserves a chance to explain himself, Tony,” Bruce said.

“Sure, why not,” Tony remarked with his hands in the air. “He can explain why he tried to kill us and then I torture him.”

“Wait a sec. Torture?” Clint looked from Tony to Bruce, back to Tony and then Bruce again.

The elevator doors slid open and Natasha came in followed by Steve. “Has he said anything?”

“ **He** hasn’t had a chance,” Clint answered with his eyes directly on her.

Natasha stood in front of him with her arms folded. “I defended you, you know. I told them you were still undone by what Loki did to you. I never thought you’d go this far, Clint.”

“What are you fucking talking about, Nat?”

“Stop lying,” Tony told him. “We’ve got you dead to rights.”

“Guys, just tell me what’s going on.”

Tony looked at the monitor. “Jarvis, play the videos Nat sent you.”

“Yes, sir.”

The screen flickered on and the first was of Alexander Pierce walking in his cell. The screen went black shortly after. Videos from the laptop that Pierce had given him were played one after another instructing Clint on his next moves. The man certainly knew what he was doing. It all appeared that Clint was working for him.

“Fuck, I’m in real trouble.”

“You bet you are, Benedict.” Tony came forward and stood. “It all began with that cute algorithm you put in Jarvis’ system. I got him back online this morning after the royal fucking he got from you and your bosses.”

“That was almost two years ago, Stark,” Clint told him.

“It was timed to kick in when Operation Insight became active,” Natasha told him. “Pierce was using the newly designed helicarriers to target potential enemies.”

Dread was starting to build in Clint’s chest. “I don’t understand.”

“I think you do,” Tony bit out. “You see that algorithm was an AI that was designed to turn Jarvis into a fucking weapon. It nearly killed me and Pepper.”

“Oh, my God!” Clint was near panic. “Is Pepper okay?”

“You care about Pepper?” Tony was so livid that he swung out at Clint and hit him.

Steve yanked him back. “That’s enough.”

“I didn’t know,” Clint breathed. He looked at Tony and Steve. “I swear, I didn’t know!”

“Maybe you did and maybe you didn’t,” Steve said. “You had some sort of arrangement with Pierce.”

“It wasn’t to kill anyone. Ask him.”

“Pierce is dead, Clint.” Natasha sat on the table in front of him. “Alexander Pierce was Hydra.”

“What?” It had to be a lie. Clint was sure of it. “No, he said…” Then he remembered their last conversation. “That’s what he meant about a bigger picture.”

“What is it?” Bruce asked.

“Pierce said it was a much larger picture than I knew. I was gathering Intel for him. He threatened not just me, but all of you. He was too powerful for me to risk your lives so I did what he said.”

“Who?” Steve sat next to him on the sofa. “Tell us everything, Clint.”

“He needed specific information about various people. None of it made sense. It was PhD dissertations, formulas, political contacts and more. I couldn’t make a connection. I spent two years trying to piece it together, but he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. That’s why I never said anything. I thought I could buy some time at least before he tried to kill me.”

“He did say that there were certain individuals who could potentially get in their way,” Natasha stated. “That’s what the targets were.”

“I was painting targets?” Clint shook his head. “All this time I was working for Hydra?”

The realization was starting to settle in and as the repercussions were hitting Clint, he felt warm all over to the point of nearly perspiring. “God, I’m gonna be sick.”

Unmindful of the cuffs, Clint scrambled away from the group trying to get to something and before he knew it Bruce had a trash can in front of him. The pain of vomiting made him roar with grief over being used again to damage people. When he finished he hung his head off the side of the sofa.

“God, I’m so sorry! Please, forgive me. I never knew!” Clint closed his eyes and choked back the sob that threatened to break loose. “I can’t do this again, Nat! Please help me!”

“Take the cuffs off him now!” Natasha ordered Tony.

When the cuffs were off, Clint pulled Natasha close and buried his face in her stomach. “Just make it stop, Nat. Please!”

Feeling her secure arms around him brought calmness over him. Clint took several breaths to get himself together and finally raised his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose it like that.”

“It’s okay,” Natasha told him. “We’re here for you.”

Clint watched her aim a sharp eye at Tony. “Aren’t we?”

“We are,” Bruce and Steve said.

Tony stepped closer. “Why aren’t you dead?”

“A few nights ago Pierce called me to his penthouse. That was when he told me about the bigger picture. He wouldn’t elaborate. He made it clear that my assignments were finished. There were no more names.”

“Was that the only reason he called you there?” Bruce asked.

“No.” Clint lowered his eyes. He pushed his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. “It seems that he pimped me out to his number one man.”

“Seriously?” Tony folded his arms. “That seems a bit odd.”

“I don’t know. It was important to Pierce for his soldier to be satisfied. I guess I was cheaper than your garden variety male prostitute.”

“You said his soldier,” Natasha said. “What was he like?”

Clint wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell them. The man had practically saved his life and the experience with him was still with him. He could almost feel Phil’s touch.

“Clint?” Steve asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I think he saved my life. I mean, he warned me and it had to look like I got away from him.” Clint ran his hands over his jeans. “Can I get a drink?”

“Sure.”

Natasha got up and Steve took her place. “I need to know more about him, Clint.”

“You know him?”

“I think so.”

“He had dark hair, long and he seemed kind of lost. You can’t miss the silver prosthetic arm. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Steve rubbed his eyes. He opened the file in his hand and took out a photo. “Is this him?”

When Clint saw it, he nodded. There was no mistaking the face and most especially those eyes. He nodded and he was about to speak when he remembered something.

Natasha brought him a scotch and he took a drink. “Can you guys leave me and Steve alone for a minute? Please.”

When they hesitated, Steve glanced at them. “It’s okay. This won’t take long.”

Clint took another sip and continued. “What’s his name?”

“Bucky Barnes. We were…”

“Everything to each other, right?”

“Yes. Did he say something?”

“Not really, but…” Clint sighed. This wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. He liked his dry lips before continuing. “We were together that night, Steve. He told Pierce I was who he wanted.”

Clint watched his reaction and saw the difficulty in his face. “I’m sorry, man. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“No, it’s okay. I need to know everything. How was he? I mean, was he okay?”

“I don’t know. He seemed lonely. He didn’t want me to be afraid of his arm. He had me touching it like he really cared about how I felt.”

When Clint saw Steve’s emotional reaction to the news, he reached over and rested his hand on his knee.

“Bucky was always worried about other people’s feelings. He hated seeing anyone hurt at all. I remember when we were kids one of the girls insisted on playing stickball with us. She had fallen pretty hard. He ran over to help her up and she stopped him with her eyes. He knew she didn’t want him to take another step. Bucky’s always been able to pick up on things like that.”

“When we were together,” Clint said in a low voice. “He said your name. It didn’t click with me mainly because I was as much with someone else that night as he was with you.”

“He said my name?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“God,” Steve whispered. He blinked back the tears and leaned forward. “I didn’t think he remembered me.”

“You saw him?”

“Yeah, I’ll give you the full story later. That’s the best news, Clint. You have no idea what it means”

“I think I do. I think both of us do. He saved my life that night.”

Steve took hold his hand and squeezed it. “Thank you, Clint.”

“I’m just sorry I never came to you with what I was doing. I should’ve trusted the team.”

“It’s alright. I’m sorry you had to go through this alone for so long. It won’t happen again,” Steve promised.

Clint nodded. “Thanks.”

~*~

It was a few hours later and Clint had the entire story. Hydra had been growing under SHIELD’s nose for who knows how long. No one, not even Fury had seen it until it was too late. They ran through the names that Clint remembered, talked about potential Hydra cells and began making plans for a fight.

Clint watched as Natasha began to suddenly furiously type and skim through information. He recognized her stiff stance whenever she came across an important piece of information. Bruce and Tony were talking about new defenses for Jarvis as he approached her.

“What’s wrong?”

“Remember I told you that we dumped SHIELD and Hydra intelligence on the internet?”

“Yeah, I think you may have put that Rising Tide out of business since they were data mining SHIELD systems.”

“Clint, I accessed Level 7 and Level 8 clearances. I’ve been trying to track Sitwell’s movements for the past 6 months. I found this photo taken by a security camera in a parking garage. Check it out.”

Natasha put the picture on the big screen and everyone turned to face it. The faces weren’t clear, but there was no doubt about it. A bright red 1962 Chevrolet Corvette was sitting next to a nondescript vehicle with SHIELD registration plates.

“That can’t be,” Clint whispered. “That’s fucking impossible!”

“What is it?” Bruce asked. “Do you know who that is?”

“It’s Phil’s car,” Clint answered. “It’s Lola.”

“Jarvis,” Tony said. “Zoom in and run facial recognition.”

“I have already begun, sir,” Jarvis announced.

Everyone waited with bated breath as the photo was zoomed on the blurred face. It pixelated and then slowly began clearing. When it came into focus, Clint had to grab onto the counter in order to remain steady.

“It’s him,” Clint whispered barely believing what he was seeing. “He’s alive. Phil’s fucking alive!”

When Clint saw Natasha’s tears, he yanked her in his arms and hugged her tightly. “He’s really alive!”

~*~

Stark Tower was officially in a secret celebration. Bruce was making a list of songs for Jarvis to play, Tony was on the phone relaying the good news to Pepper and Clint was pouring the champagne for everyone. He had just finished the last glass when he saw Steve out on the balcony taking in the night sky.

He carried two glasses to Steve and handed one off.

“Thanks, Clint.”

Clint leaned on the railing and sipped his champagne.

“Do you know any more about Coulson?”

“We’ve tracked down a few airstrips where he was spotted. He’s got a plane and a team of his own. With everything that’s happened I’m not sure if we’ll track him any time soon. He may be on the run from Hydra for all we know.”

“Why do you suppose he never tried to let us know he was alive?”

“Knowing Coulson and Fury, maybe they saw what was in the wind and keeping quiet was for the best. Maybe Coulson thought we already knew. Maybe…”

“Doesn’t it piss you off though?”

Clint smiled a little. “Yeah, it does. I can’t wait to let him know how much.”

“Will you tell him how you really feel?”

“I want to. He was seeing this cellist before he died. I know he cared about her. She’s a good person and I never wanted to hurt him or her for that matter.”

“But now?”

Clint thought about it. For so long he had stayed silent thinking that he could be content with what little he had with Phil. Everything was different now. “I’ll tell him and take my chances. I’ve been in love with him since New Mexico, Steve. Maybe before that and I didn’t realize it. All I know is that I’m going to find him and he’s going to know how I feel. He may not return it, but he won’t turn his back on me. I know that.”

“That’s great.” Steve took a drink of his champagne.

“What about you and Bucky? Any chance for the two of you?”

“I wish I knew. We were everything to each other during the war. All I ever wanted was for us to be together. He wasn’t so sure we could ever have a life back then. Everything was different. Now, people won’t look at us like we’re alien because we love each other. Plus I know he remembers me. That means the world and I know we’ve got a shot. I won’t give up on him.”

Clint raised his glass and Steve met it with his. They tapped their glasses together.

“Here is to us, Bucky and Phil,” Clint said. “Here’s hoping we all find each other.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

And so they did.

 

END


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